


my light

by seasparks



Series: I must... [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, implied suicidal thoughts, probably some medical/body horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28683300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasparks/pseuds/seasparks
Summary: Surely it's a trick. Surely Byleth—wonderful, brilliant Byleth—can see that Edelgard doesn't deserve her loyalty. Any moment now, she'll turn on Edelgard and give the knife one final, agonizing twist before sending her to whatever hell the goddess has set aside for monsters like her.Surely that's all it could be....right?
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Series: I must... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102412
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	my light

**Author's Note:**

> you ever just...write a fic, then have Feelings about it, then write _another_ fic to process those feelings?
> 
> anyway here's This.

"...up to Lady Edelgard. Lady Edelgard? Are you with us?"

"Hm? Oh, yes, my apologies."

"Do you have anything to add to Byleth's plan?"

"To Byleth's...? I'm sorry, my mind was elsewhere."

Internally, Edelgard screamed, certain that everyone else was doing the same. She had been drifting in and out of reality ever since—

_the Sword of the Creator at her throat_

_"Professor. Kill Edelgard at once."_

_choking back bile at the knowledge that her dear teacher was about to leave her_

—the events at the Holy Tomb, still not even a full day ago. She was too preoccupied with trying to figure out what had happened, _why_ it had happened, but she still didn't—couldn't—understand.

_This can't be real. This can't be happening. I don't deserve this. Byleth is the most brilliant, most wonderful person I know; surely she can see that. Unless...maybe it wasn't enough for her to be satisfied for her revenge. For Geralt. For Remire. For betraying her. Maybe she wanted to give me hope, only to snuff it out and watch the light in my eyes die out._

Edelgard had to chuckle bitterly at the thought. _The light in my eyes was stolen long ago, my teacher; I can't even give you such a small thing._

"Is something funny? You don't look amused, but I heard you laugh. Is this one of those things Dorothea's going to tease me about later?"

Edelgard started at the sound of Byleth's voice. She looked around, and they were alone in the tent; the rest of—

_staring at nothing, unable to sleep, unable to cry_

_replaying the same thoughts over and over again in futile effort to understand what was going on_

_coming up with a name for her classmates' military unit in a futile attempt to distract herself_

_closing her eyes and seeing what could have happened in the Holy Tomb, what_ should _have happened, why was she here, why was she still alive, why couldn't Byleth have just...just..._

—the Black Eagle Strike Force was nowhere to be seen, not even Hubert.

_I see. It makes sense that I was right about her motives; it was the only thing that made any sense, after all. Very well. I shall stand tall; I will not fall to my knees and beg for mercy. A von Hresvelg faces death with dignity. I fought for what I believed was right; I should have no regrets._

"I wanted...to walk with you..."

The words escaped Edelgard's lips unbidden. Her eyes opened wide in shock and her hands flew up to cover her mouth, but it was too late to take it back.

"And you will, Edelgard, I promise. We'll walk this path together. But...something's wrong, isn't it? Edelgard, please tell me what's wrong, I can't fix it if you don't tell me." Byleth looked terrified. Her voice was shaking, actually _shaking_ , and Edelgard had never heard her say so much at once, or so quickly.She had no idea what it meant.

"My teacher...no. I am sorry." Edelgard cleared her throat and composed herself with no small effort; she couldn't afford another slip-up. "Professor. Please, just do what you came here to do. If anyone has the right, it is you." She hoped her voice remained steady.

"I'm _trying!_ " Byleth pleaded, _"_ But I...I don't understand people, Edelgard. I can't understand what you're going through right now, so please, _please,_ help me!" A few tears started to trickle down her face. Edelgard hadn't seen her so emotional since Geralt was...was murdered, by Edelgard's own so-called 'allies'.

_Another pointless death I was too weak to prevent._

With that thought, Edelgard sank to her knees. She was tired of waiting, tired of having this moment drawn out, even though she knew that this was what she deserved. She sneered in disgust at her own selfishness. "We both know that your path lies over my grave, Professor, so please get it over with and take your next step forward. Unless..." A possibility occurred to her, one so obvious that she didn't know how she hadn't thought of it already. "Are you unwilling to sully the goddess's blade with my—"

_her siblings' cries ringing out through the sewers_

_the dawning horror as their cries were silenced_

_the agony of being cut apart, and stitched together, and cut apart, and stitched together, and cut apart, and stitched together, and cut apart, and stitched together, and—_

"—blood? Then, here." She reached for the dagger she kept on her person at all times and suddenly Byleth's hand was on hers, a firm grip keeping her from unsheathing the weapon and handing it over.

"Edelgard!" Byleth cried out, "Look at me!"

Edelgard complied. The simplicity of following an order, any order, was unexpectedly refreshing. She could feel both their hands trembling, but the professor's grip was no weaker for it.

Byleth stared, her expression grim. "I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here because...because..." she floundered, trying and failing to find the right word, "...because you're Edelgard," she concluded. When this didn't get a response, she tried again. "You're _Edelgard._ " After another brief pause, she made a frustrated noise. "I don't...know how to say it," she explained. "I trust you. I believe in you. I want to make your dreams come true. Does that make sense? I can't tell, I can never _tell._ "

Speechless, all Edelgard could do was stare at the professor. After a long silence, she finally, almost imperceptibly, nodded. Byleth's relief was immediately obvious. She started to withdraw her hand, but before she could get very far Edelgard's own hand shot out to grab it.

"Please..." Edelgard whispered, "if you truly mean it, don't let go of me. Not yet. Please." She felt awful for it, but she needed the touch; even through her gloves, it helped ground her.

"I won't," Byleth reassured her, lacing their fingers together and giving Edelgard's hand a long squeeze. "Not yet. Not ever." They stayed kneeling across from each other, hands clasped, until Byleth spoke up again. "You can still call me your teacher if you want. I don't mind. It feels nice."

"I...I can? Do you mean it?" Edelgard asked, startled. That wasn't what she expected at all; then again, she hadn't expected any of what had just happened.

Byleth nodded. "Of course." She seemed to be back to her usual self, or close to it.

"Then...thank you, my...my t-teacher." _If this is a trick, then I suppose I am just a fool._ "Does this mean...did you truly choose me, in the Tomb? D-did you m-mean it?"

Byleth couldn't help it; she pulled Edelgard to her chest and gave her a hug with all of her crest-enhanced strength. "I did. I'll choose you every time." Remembering the nickname Ionius had used back in Enbarr, she added in a whisper, "I'm yours, El."

A flood of warmth surged through Edelgard, radiating out from her chest through her whole body. She smiled, for the first time since...she couldn't even remember when. As she returned Byleth's crest-infused hug with one of her own, she whispered, "Then I must be yours, too, my teacher; thank you."

They had to separate before long, lest they risk either hurting each other or exhausting themselves before the next day's battle, but they still kept their hands clasped tight, separating only far enough apart to see each other's faces.

"Your eyes..." whispered Byleth, awestruck.

"What about them, my teacher?"

"They're beautiful...so full of light..."

_Do I...deserve this? With her by my side, can I...no. One step at a time; I can't get ahead of myself._ Despite her internal admonitions, Edelgard felt her smile getting brighter and brighter.

"Oh!" Byleth said suddenly. "This is what I meant. Or part of it."

Edelgard tilted her head, unintentionally mimicking one of Byleth's favorite gestures. "Oh?"

"Your light. I wanted to see the light in your eyes again. Like on the night you shared your dream with me. The one for the future," she quickly clarified, "not the nightmares."

Edelgard laughed, softly at first, then louder and louder until she was sure the whole camp could hear her; she just couldn't stop.

"El? What's so funny?"

"I-it's you, my teacher," Edelgard answered when her laughter had finally died down. She leaned forward and placed a single, soft kiss on Byleth's lips. When she mustered the courage to finish explaining, their lips were still almost touching, and her voice was barely a whisper.

" _You_ are my light."

**Author's Note:**

> this doesn't HAVE to be a sequel to 'I must...', but it made sense to us, and we kind of wrote it with the other in mind, so [hands you a tiny two-story series] whatever.
> 
> Edelgard is really not okay. But she will be, we hope.


End file.
